Sunday, October 17, 2010

Its the freakin' weekend

Lindsay, Stefani, and Adrianne left me, Kelly, and Leanne on campus this weekend. Skanks. Leanne got me sick last week because I was in her room at 2 in the morning, and she decided it would be the opprotune moment to tell me all about the creepers that exist on campus, so then I was too afraid to walk back to my dorm in the dark, and therefore I had to snuggle with her and her infectious diseases all night... thanks a lot. So Friday night rolled around and being the hardcore college kids that we are, we put on our matching boy boxers and commenced our collective addiction to MTV's "Teen Mom" (actually Leanne was the only TM virgin of the three of us). Then we decided to order pizza (insert Jelly's creeper story here) as we rotted our brains to countless hours of worthless media indulgence. However, there are several things we learned from Teen Mom:
1. Leanne is obsessed with the name Bentley for her first baby boy (hopefully that's a long ways away).
2. If you're over 250 pounds, do NOT wear a bunny suit! ever.
3. Drugs might just cause you to have a receeding hairline (I'm speaking of a woman here).
4. No matter how cute you are, if you're white and skinny you can't pull off the ghetto fab look.
5. Childbirth looks way to painful to try.
6. Places not to leave your child: the sink, the hallway, a table, the bed, the counter, middle of a room under construction, near an outlet, or with Farrah.
7. Baby Daddys are completely undependable (except we love Tyler).
8. Never deposit a fraudulent check and then give all of your life savings away.
9. Some people are so redneck that viewers need captions to understand what they're talking about.
10. Don't have sex. Ever.

All in all, it was an educational and emotionally enriching experience (except for the frustration we all felt when episodes 9,10,and 11 were not available online! What are you thinking MTV?), and arguably one of the best Friday nights of the semester. We're going out next weekend to expand our social skills. Probs.


The "second" best blog you'll ever read...

HYPERBOLE.AND.A.HALF = what I do during class.

I'm so productive.


Saturday, October 16, 2010


Okay, so Wednesday was our friend Jody's birthday, and we decided to make him a cake. Adrianne, of course, took control of it because she is the cook. Me and Jelly decided to "help" (aka sit at the table and eat the left over cake batter). Anyways, Adrianne left to go study and told us to make the brownies. DISCLAIMER: She left us in charge of her own free will.
So... we figure out that we can't make the brownies yet because the cake is in the only pan that we have. We only had half an hour until Jody was supposed to be there, so we took matters into our own hands. As we flipped the cake out of the pan onto a cookie sheet, it crumbled into a zillion pieces. Keeping our cool, we decided that we would just put it back together with the frosting... it looked like someone had already eaten and puked up our cake. Realizing this, we then decided to splatter brownie batter all over the top of it. Agreeing that our final product was cooler looking than any normal cake, we put it in the fridge. Five minutes later, Adrianne comes down to check on the cake, and to her horror, finds its corpse in the fridge. She was very very unhappy. Jelly and I could not stop laughing which did not make matters any better. Frustrated, she stomped off. In her fury, she had scraped the top layer of the frosting off on the shelf in the fridge. Awesome. We fixed it by spreading the left over frosting and brownie mix over the exposed part of the cake, making a gooey brown mass that looked hardly edible. But its okay because it was delicious!
Moral of the story: Don't let Jelly and Sam cook. Ever.



Ever run across those people that just creep you out? They don't even really have to say or do anything, they just give up that vibe.
I, being a gracious friend, order pizza for Sam, Leanne and I to veg out on. It gets here fairly quickly so we run downstairs only to find a short, creepy, yellow-toothed man who decides to compliment us by telling us we look good. We are wearing pajamas, not caring about our looks (our diets). Of course we don't look good, don't compliment us, I'm still not tipping you. Anyways, as I hand him my debit card to pay for the pizza, a look comes across his face and he asks me: "Do you trust me?" My response? No.
Apparently the ever so educated pizza delivery creeper forgot the Card Swiper for me to pay, genius. His question of "Do you trust me?" implied that he was going to take my debit card back to the pizza hut and pay for it and then bring it back to me. Is this a joke? Do you really think im going to give a pizza hut delivery man my debit card? You have got to be kidding me. So i tell him no, obviously. So he leaves, comes back and uses his cell phone? He didn't even go and get the card swiper. He was an idiot. He also continued to compliment us. At this point im ready to murder him. All i want is the pizza. I got the pizza eventually, ran away quickly, only to discover we locked ourselves out of the room. Kill myself.