Sunday, October 17, 2010

Its the freakin' weekend

Lindsay, Stefani, and Adrianne left me, Kelly, and Leanne on campus this weekend. Skanks. Leanne got me sick last week because I was in her room at 2 in the morning, and she decided it would be the opprotune moment to tell me all about the creepers that exist on campus, so then I was too afraid to walk back to my dorm in the dark, and therefore I had to snuggle with her and her infectious diseases all night... thanks a lot. So Friday night rolled around and being the hardcore college kids that we are, we put on our matching boy boxers and commenced our collective addiction to MTV's "Teen Mom" (actually Leanne was the only TM virgin of the three of us). Then we decided to order pizza (insert Jelly's creeper story here) as we rotted our brains to countless hours of worthless media indulgence. However, there are several things we learned from Teen Mom:
1. Leanne is obsessed with the name Bentley for her first baby boy (hopefully that's a long ways away).
2. If you're over 250 pounds, do NOT wear a bunny suit! ever.
3. Drugs might just cause you to have a receeding hairline (I'm speaking of a woman here).
4. No matter how cute you are, if you're white and skinny you can't pull off the ghetto fab look.
5. Childbirth looks way to painful to try.
6. Places not to leave your child: the sink, the hallway, a table, the bed, the counter, middle of a room under construction, near an outlet, or with Farrah.
7. Baby Daddys are completely undependable (except we love Tyler).
8. Never deposit a fraudulent check and then give all of your life savings away.
9. Some people are so redneck that viewers need captions to understand what they're talking about.
10. Don't have sex. Ever.

All in all, it was an educational and emotionally enriching experience (except for the frustration we all felt when episodes 9,10,and 11 were not available online! What are you thinking MTV?), and arguably one of the best Friday nights of the semester. We're going out next weekend to expand our social skills. Probs.


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